Things are better. I don’t know what happened. But there has been a shift. Mostly in my thinking, I guess. And I’ve been “downgrading” my partner in my head. By that I mean I haven’t contacted him much and have waited for him to contact me. I have just accepted the fact that our relationship is changing, I guess.
Something I’ve been thinking about is how little we talk about polyamory being hard. Actually, we talk about it a lot, but it’s when we’re out of the moment of being frustrated or angry or jealous. We talk about it like we’re disconnected from it. It happened yesterday, so it’s not as frustrating anymore right now, and I can talk about it in hindsight. And we laugh about it and we express our frustrations, but in a very detached way. We don’t say, “I’m having a hard time and this polyamory stuff sucks for me right now and I want to crawl in a hole and die.” Instead, we say, “I was feeling this and that and thinking this and that, and here’s what I did and ha ha, it’s over now, moving on.”
We talk about polyamory in such a positive light, all the time, and we should, because it’s a great thing and for many of us has really opened our lives to better things. More lovers, more love, an abundance of relationships. But we don’t always hear the ugly stories, especially while they’re happening. I feel like hearing more of those would actually help some of us to feel more understood. Someone is going through this, too, it’s not just me.
It seems to me that there is some sort of poly PC going on. Poly political correctness. And I don’t know if it should always be that way.